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The Twelve Days of Dating

· tinder,Christmas,holidays

Your Guide to Swiping at Christmas

If you’re lying on your bed with a sad Christmas hat on by 5, DON’T FRET! You’re not alone in your indulgent lethargy. In fact, Christmas is a great time to get a shit ton of dating success.

Here’s our handy guide to the mysterious beast that is Christmas dating, from Advidate, the original $50 Online Dating Consultancy.

CHRISTMAS EVE

There seems to be a nationwide split on the practice of going drinking on Christmas Eve. I don’t know why – Christmas Eve is the only day of the festive period when you won’t have a lazy eye from the eighteen glasses of eggnog you drank the day before.

Christmas Eve is the perfect night to meet those hometown hotties you’ve been messaging since you first got bored two days ago. If everyone’s out drinking, it’s casual. Plus, it’s Christmas – add some sparkle to your usual openers with a Christmas themed chat-up line (although we recommend avoiding “wanna ride me like a reindeer? 😈”).

You know the drill: ask your match where they’ll be later, get your friends to the bar, buy your match a drink and tell them how well you’ve done since finishing high school.

TOP TIP: Impress your match by asking for a receipt when you buy them a drink. You know, for ‘business expenses’.

BONUS: If you don't 'know the drill', get help with opening lines and flirting by booking an Advidate consultation, or get the best Xmas gift for your friends, 10% off with coupon code XMASDATES.

CHRISTMAS DAY

Literally everyone gets bored on Christmas Day, which makes it the ideal day to get swiping.

It’s important to remember that Christmas is a groundwork day. No one actually leaves their family home for a rendezvous. We’re not animals.

Christmas Day is when you charm your matches with your profile pics from summer 16 and make jokes about whether you’ve been naughty or nice, and to entertain them with Christmas anecdotes.

TOP TIP: Send your match a picture of you in your Christmas jumper, or of your Grandpa asleep with his hand in a box of candy. Christmas Day is a banquet of conversation starters.

BONUS: Tinder is now available on Apple TV so you can do your swiping on the big screen. Perfect if you like your mum choosing your sexual partners.

If you're going to let your family loose on your dating profiles, at least talk to us about which profile pictures you should use. Come on now.

BOXING DAY

Boxing Day is the day that you can legitimately use the excuse of cabin fever to court your matches in real life.

You’ve now been back home for five days and the Yuletide cheer has gone from cosy to claustrophobic. You’re on your seventh round of leftovers and you can measure your self-loathing in candy wrappers. Your patience with being interrogated by distant relatives has worn thin, and your brazen younger brother has been playing Minecraft for seven hours.

This is the beauty of Boxing Day. So next time your match says “bored, you?”, reply with something colourful. Something that breaks the monotony of their day and lets them know that they are not alone. Next, suggest a drink. You know, to mutually excite each other.

TOP TIP: Your local bars might be shut on Boxing Day so you might have to get inventive. McDonald’s?

NEW YEAR’S EVE

New Year’s Eve is terrible for online dating. Unless you have friends who are willing to pay $50 entry to every bar or club your match might possibly be at, casually ‘bumping into’ your next e-soulmate isn’t a thing on New Year’s Eve.

And hey – it’s not your fault. New Year’s Eve is almost always awful. December 31st is the year’s Bermuda Triangle, impossibly combining sky high expectations with rock bottom organisation. Add a $50 price tag and a stacked bouncer to your local bar and you have the Holy Trinity, laughing at your attempt at having fun.

TOP TIP: Don’t encourage your matches to “just come here”. They won’t. Send them some cheeky emojis and a ‘Happy New Year!!!!’ and lay the foundations for tomorrow. Which is…

NEW YEAR’S DAY

Glorious New Year’s Day. The universal day of convalescence. And the day that your ‘Netflix and chill?’ line has, statistically, its highest chance of working.

Everyone is hungover on New Year’s Day, which means that deep down, everyone just wants to snuggle and watch Die Hard.

New Year’s Day is the one day that you can legitimately invite someone that you’ve never met before over to your house to wear pjs and watch Frozen. So, if you haven’t yet, suggest an in person rendezvous with the match you’ve been exchanging emojis with for the past week.

TOP TIP: If the premise of your match coming over is ice cream and pyjamas, don’t be surprised when they actually turn up with ice cream and pyjamas. And don’t be mad if they don’t immediately rip your clothes off – they’re probably feeling just as close to vomiting as you are.

So there we have it. The taming of the festive beast that is Christmas dating. Our main takeaways? Use your boredom to your advantage. Say something funny. Snuggle at New Year. Oh, and don’t let your mum control your online dating accounts, leave that to us.

Merry Christmas,

Advidate x

Book today with coupon XMASDATES and receive 10% off:

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